Denying the Obvious

Remember that flirt I told you about. Well he was working all the moves that night...with more than one girl. I was young, I was inexperienced and I was jealous. I thought I lacked self confidence but when I look back, I'm proud I stood up for myself and didn't let myself be taken for a ride. At the end of the night I made him choose. I had no legs to stand on, nothing was happening but I made him choose...her or me. He said he couldn't choose because he liked us both. Jerk! Wrong answer. That was me done. I walked away and hoped into the car and never expected to see that cute, confident and irritating surfer boy again.

I did see him again. Everywhere. All the time.

I worked at our local grocery store as a check out chick. He was there, more often than not. Riding his bike down and coming in for drinks, or food, or gum. He'd be at the end of my line or waving through the window.

I studied at our local university and yep you guessed it, he was there. Sarah, Sarah he called as he was racing down the corridors to try and catch up with us. I had my group at uni. We were tight. We all worked together to avoid him but he always showed up. I was mean, but he was persistent.

I gave in some of the time and instead of brushing him off I would be polite and say hello and talk. Little did everyone know I was crushing bad inside. On the outside I had to act cool and totally not be interested in this ridiculously cute boy who brushed me off that night of our first kiss. Did I mention that I was young and stupid and stubborn?

Somewhere in the mix of work and uni and the occasional run in with the cute surfer I had a party. It was my 20th birthday. I was in a long term relationship with my (at the time) boyfriend. Through friends of friends cute surfer boy got invited. It was a black and white themed party with a dress code. He turned up in jeans and no t-shirt. Bare chest to a cocktail night at my house! It's the little things you remember, but man he stood out. I would soon learn that this is his trademark look. He wished me happy birthday and kissed me on the cheek. He gave me a rose and birthday card. The card still sits in my drawer to this day. I kept it, even though I had a boyfriend, even though I never had any intention of seeing him again. I kept it.

That party was a turning point for me. The way I felt when he kissed my cheek I just can not describe to you. I held on for a few more months to the relationship I was in and gave it a fair go. In the end we both knew it was over. My heart wasn't in it. It belonged to someone else. I just didn't know who...or did I?

x S.K.K x