This was me 3 years ago after a simple every day surgery turned into a 3 month nightmare! I woke one morning and could not walk - the pain in my ankle was so bad I could not put any weight on it what so ever! I called in sick and stayed in bed that day! The pain got worse and I also noticed pain in my chest and my belly! I was very weak so I decided to just sleep it off. 2 days later the pain was still there in my stomach and up into my chest so mum insisted she take me to the doctor! This was Wednesday - public holiday here in Brisbane for our annual show - the EKKA. I was poked and proded and examined and she couldn't find anything. She sent me off to the emergency as the pain was bad and she couldn find anything without 'machine' help. bahhhh last thing I felt like doing. But off we went - I was hungry and just wanted to go home. I hadn't eaten all day but I still wasn't allowed to as I had to have all of the tests at the hospital. Xrays - ultra sounds - MRI - Cat scans - all showed nothing. It was 7.00pm and I was starving and they finally were letting me go home - oh how I was dreaming of mac and cheese!!!! 5 minutes later another doctor came in and said I was going in for surgery in 10 minutes so suit up! What a whirl wind!!! 1 minute I was going home - next I was putting on the sexy paper undies ready for surgery! They suspected appendicitis so didn't want to run the risk of it bursting. I could handle that. no troubles...quick 40 minute key hole surgery and out the next day.
4 hours later I was back in my room and all I heard was "midnight' and "tumor" I was alone and totally out of it but all I registered was that I had been in surgery for 4 hours and I had cancer - have I mentioned before that I'm a drama queen!!! The next morning and a meeting with my surgeon revealed that yes my surgery had taken 4 hours because once they went in to get my appendix out they found a tumor on my bowel so they had to remove it. It was non cancerous. A week of torture followed this! After the doctor left I was bathed by a nurse! I couldn't move on my own and was still pretty out of it and I actually let a stranger shower me! I know this is normal but not for me! The minute my mum came I didn't let her go! I was a sook. I was not strong! I didn't push through! I didn't rise above. I sunk low. I held on to my mummy for support and totally depended on her for everything. I had never been hit hard and this hit me god dam hard! I let it over come me and I didn't try to help myself at all! I couldn't roll, sit up, laugh, walk or do anything for myself! They cut straight through my stomach and this bloody hurt! I know mums do this every single day after having C sections but I wasn't a mum and I didn't have a baby...just a big huge ugly scar across my stomach and a diet of apple juice and jelly! I wasn't allowed to eat for 7 days....7 days....I was friggen angry...nurses, mum, everyone was telling me I had to be strong, I had to do things for myself, I had to walk to the toilet ummmmm how bout you get starved for 7 days and then see if you have any single tiny ounce of energy left in your body to pick yourself up and walk around a ward! I was angry, I was upset, I was sore. I just wanted to go home and EAT!!! I also had massive allergic reactions to a pain killer YYYUUKKKK and totally tripped out on the morphine. Every time I shut my eyes little monkeys would swing my cords around. I also thought my body was a donut and when my dad hugged me I thought jam and cream was getting spurted out of my body - needless to say the morphine was taken straight off me. I was so mean to my mummy! But I needed her! 7 days she stayed with me and did not leave me once! She slept on a cot beside my bed! I was 22 but needed her like I was 2! I am eternally grateful for such a special person in my life! My dad also traveled every day by train from teh gold coast to sit by my side. Not intrude, not interrupt but be there for me. I'm a very lucky girl!
Long story short - it was a horrible experience and at the time I was not strong. I often wonder if that happened to me now would I act differently! Would I use my motivational tools to look positively on the situation and coach myself into recovering better and quicker and easier and happier! There are so many more things that happened in that week and the following few but as I found when I was typing it makes me angry! I dont know why, but it did, and I'm sure that came out in some of my writing! The reason I bring this story up is because I am having a few complications and I have to go back to my surgeon to see if anything is wrong resulting from the surgery! I have an appointment on Wednesday afternoon so wish me luck that all is ok! I also have to have a colonoscopy which I am not looking forward to but I am trying to be strong and I WILL NOT let my mind take over my body like it did in that hospital 3 years ago!
A terrible time but I have a huge scar across my body to constantly remind me that I got through it and
I was ok.
I didn't ever think I would!
Even though times are bad and times are tough we always get through it!
I am so lucky to have made some amazing friendships through this crazy beautiful online world! It's amazing how close you can feel to someone who you have never met! When cleaning out my email today I came across a very special email from a very special friend! It was just a simple email concerned about my absence from my blog! It was short and sweet but melted my heart the minute I read it! Unfortunately it was sent straight to my 'junk' folder and I did not get to read it until now but HAYLEY thank you so much for your beautiful email! It made me smile! I will email you back straight away :-)
We don't get to see each other much during the week but a special picture message with this flower reminds me that he is always thinking of me! I miss him but I am so thankful to have him in my life! I wouldn't have it any other way!
This little beauty arrive in the mail today! I am so so so excited! I am having a shopping spree at IKEA on Saturday so it came just in time!!! I better get searching on their website and maybe plan my purchases! or set myself a budget! or just go in and have fun! Yep that last one sounds like the best ;-)
Still new and a bit clueless in the design side of this blogging world!!
How do I put all of my favourite blog "buttons" on the side of my blog???
I looked under 'gadgets' but couldn't see anywhere!
Also how do I put 'tabs' on the top of my page for example an 'about me' page and 'my family' and 'our wedding day' etc so when people click on the it takes them to a page with all of that specific information and photos??
Today I bought a book called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Book of Days - 365 inspirations to Enrich your relationships.
I have recently discovered an interest, which I hope will form into a passion, of ummm what would you call it...self help - personal development - being the best I can be. I am learning that the sky is the limit and that I can be whoever I want to be! Not professionally but personally! My personality has always been influenced. I was always the type of person that would mold into the people around me. Who ever they were, whatever they believed in, what ever they stood for, I would as well. Inside I knew the real me but I never showed it! I always took on the personalities around me! I don't know why, I have always been a quite confident person but it was an act. I was confidently everyone else but never the real me! I would move from best friend to best friend from friendship group to friendship group and I would mold and change into who they wanted me to be! But enough is enough! I was getting tired! Not happy. I was bursting inside to show the real me and who I am! I have found some really amazing books, internet sites and gorgeous people who have motivated me and pushed me and inspired me to open up, look at the real me and let myself shine. I have written before that people describe me as 'corny' but I love being corny. I love seeing the beauty, fun and sunshine in all aspects of life! This blog has allowed me to open up and show my true feelings and be myself! So I am constantly on the look out for photos, written words, books, blogs, songs that simply inspire. I want to better myself in every aspect of my life. From my home life, to my health, to my cleaning habits, to my marriage, to my writing, to my friendships, to my photography, to my house decoration and to my career. Everything that I can read, see or experience I want to soak it up and suck all of the goodness out of it and plant it in my life! I'm young, I'm planting the seed so I can grow into the beautiful, inspiring, motivating and happiest person I can be!
So when I saw this little book amongst the hundreds and hundreds in the stall I had to get my hot little hands on it! I originally thought it was the original book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and I was dieing to read it! But this one is even better! Every day it has a passage. Something for you to read, think about and act upon. I do not understand men! Even my man, I look at him sometimes and just think...WHAT!!!...why do you do that? or say that? or feel that? This book I am hoping will allow me to open up, look from the other side and try to understand why! Some are funny, most are serious, but I am looking forward to being challenged to look from the other side. Why we do what we do and why they do what they do! Men and women obviously work differently, that's what makes us special and I am excited to learn about each of us and develop a deeper understanding. Here is today...
The Fifteen-Minute Delay
Somtimes when we are upset, we dont realise until later what we have said. Often, if a women in upset and shares her feelings, it may take fifteen minutes to reflect on what she has said. After such consideration, she begins to appreciate a man's strong support. She thinks, "I really unloaded on him and he wasn't mean to me. He really tried to be considerate. He is wonderful. Let me think what can I do for him."
Sometimes there is a fifteen minute delay before a women can really appreciate that a man is there for her.
If a man says something in fristrations like "What's the point?" or "This was sure a waste of time" or "If this doesn't help, why do we even bother?," it can undo all the good he did. It will be as though he gave a gift and then took it back. And to a women, that is worse than not giving it in the first place. That fifteen minutes when she is reflecting on what she has said is a very vulnerable time for a women. if a man is trying to tell her that she is wrong, or id she feels she has to defend herself, then it is very hard for her to see her mistakes and release any negative feelings she is holding onto.
So true!!! Women, we are so emotional which I think sometimes, actually most of the time works against us. I know that I often need that little bit of time just to cool down collect my thoughts and then once things have blown over we laugh and say "what on earth were we thinking?"
What do you think?
I'd love to hear your thoughts?
I'll type up all the interesting ones so you can share my journey with me.
Oh Sunday you are so bitter sweet! Sad that a weekend is over once again but sweet as I reminisce on all of the wonderful adventures I had! Thank You to the beautiful Claire from Scissors Paper Rock for motivating us to take the time to sit down, document and be thankful for our special weekends! They will be a special memory that I will have forever!
Saturday was a big day for our family as after months and months of waiting we finally got to pick up Robs brand new work ute. He was very cool, calm and collected and was acting super cool as we picked up 'the beast' however I could see in his eyes that he was like a kid on Christmas morning. He was trying to keep a 'cool' face but I could see he was trying so hard not to smile! I caught him a few times though haha ;-)
After we picked her up we headed out for her maiden voyage! We took it for a drive up Mount Tambourine! We were meeting Robs brother up there and he tinted Robs windows for him! Beautiful drive!
No rest for the wicked and as soon as the car was tinted we were straight back on the road back down the mountain and were off to Robs best friends birthday! His girlfriend Sara prepared a gorgeous meal for us and it was so lovely just sitting back, relaxing and spending time with great friends. Sara had purchased a playstation game "Retro Sonic" so we took advantage of using the playstation while the boys were out the back and played! Well Sara played and we watched and it was just like being back in the 80's! Hilarious! None of this HD clear graphic nonsense :P the pixelated picture was perfect! hahaha
Sunday morning I was up bright and early and my cousin Cassi, her daughter Ava and myself headed back up the mountain to go to the markets! I had never been to the Tambourine Markets before even though Robs parents live up there!! Crazy I know! So we drove the beautiful drive again and arrived at the markets with the sun shining beautifully! We had a hot chocolate and coffee and some pancakes and headed off for our stroll! 5 stalls in it started to pour! Only for a few minutes then the sun shone again! This went on for the next few hours! Showers then sun, showers then sun. We braved it and stuck it out and picked up a few goodies along the way!
My market goodies that I picked up! Two wonderful books from their SUPER CHEAP book store! Old and new - they had books galore! Some knitted specials for a dear friend who is expecting their first baby! A super cool and fantastically useful baby sling for a new adventure I'm about to start (no not pregnancy :-P)
I came home about lunch time and burned my gorgeous new "soy melt" I also bought from the markets. It was called 'relaxation' and smelt absolutely gorgeous! The aroma in our house was divine! I quickly did a load of washing and a quick wipe over the house before heading off for our next social engagement! ;-)
We spent the afternoon at our neighbours house catching up! They cooked us a yummy BBQ and we took advantage of the break in the rain and spent the afternoon in their yard!
So here I am 8.30pm on a Sunday night and I feel like I have not stopped since 7.00 yesterday morning! It has been go go go but wouldn't have it any other way!
A step up from my digital camera! Im thinking up to a digital SLR camera! But my head is spinning and my eyes are turning square and words are turning into black lines! I have no idea what all the camera lingo means! I don't know what codes and number are better! I dont know what to look for and which one is better! I don't need anything fancy or expensive, just something that can take beautiful clear shots! Something I can learn on and create beautiful pictures! I think I take pretty nice pictures on my digi cam but it can't capture the beautiful things I want to capture like rain drops on a leaf or rain in the sky or freckles on a face! You know what I mean? I need something that can capture the beauty that I see through my eyes!
What do you use?? Do you have any recommendations?
Here we are...Sunday again.
I have a happyface, happy body and happy heart...
~ My weekend started off here! A one hour full body massage, a manicure, a pedicure and then an hour facial! Heaven! I laid down on that couch and didn't move for 3 hours! It was total bliss! ~
~ Rob was working all day so I had a day to myself! I stopped off at the organic supermarket and picked up a few supplies! I am now in love with this shop! Will be goign back each week! ~
~ I spent the afternoon at mum and dads hanging out and laughing and getting my Roxy cuddles ~
~ Saturday night Rob and I went out to dinner at our favourite Chinese restaurant! Nothing I love more than greasy Chinese with my love and reading our fortunes after ~
~ Sunday Rob had to work again so I decided to go with him so we could spend a day together! Rob works 6 or 7 days every week so when he works down the coast I try to go as often as I can just so we can spend that little extra time together! Even though he was working being close was better than being home! And hey...it's not a bad work place :) I read, relaxed and took photos while Rob worked...guilty!!! ~
~ I walked to get lunch and stubbled across my favourite shop! I have never gone in but have always admired it from the front! Its a cute little beach shop with furniture and knick knacks! OMG it was divine! It was just gorgeous and the items inside were just beautiful! Gorgeous little treasures that the owner has found or bought and restored himself! I picked a few little treasures of my own! ~
~ All I need is love and the beach side! My world complete! ~
~ Sunday nights are always spent at my mum and dads for family dinner! My sisters best friend has just spent a month in America and tonight was his first night back seeing us! He bought us presents (bless his heart) and he knows that I LOVE Las Vegas and I am desperate to go so he bought a little piece to me! Monopoly Las Vegas style! Best excuse for a game night! He's so thoughtful! ~
Songs are so powerful and so many mean a lot to me! Growing up in a house full of music I have come to love and adore every genre of music. From classical to R&B to musicals to country! I love them all. Choosing my theme song would normally be hard but I stumbled across this divine song last year and fell in love! It has everything I love about music in it! Slow soulful melody yet it builds up to a little funky beat! The lyrics are what I love the most! I swear this song could be called - Sarah's beliefs - how true are the gorgeous lyrics! They are everything I live for, stand for and believe in. Just gorgeous!!! I would play this every morning and life would be perfect! It really puts life in to perspective and reminds me why I am here and how I should live each day!!!
You have bought laughter, tears, fun and tragedy and I believe it will be a summer that we will never forget.
Mother Nature surely did test us! She sent us everything she could and it has been a very tough and trialling time for all of us here in Queensland and now in New Zealand. I am so very lucky that I was not effected by the tragedies first hand but many people around me were and it has just been so heartbreaking to watch! On the flip side I did have a beautiful summer that was filled with many special moments with family and friends. So thank you summer of 2010 and 2011 you have certainly made your way in to the history books and I believe you have made us all stronger and brought us all together!
~ My car bursting at the seams with donations for the flood victims ~
~ Australia Day BBQ at our house ~
and endless days that were filled with fun, laughter, sun, food, amazing friends, and special memories!
Thank You Summer and Goodbye!!! I'm looking forward to a brand new season with brand new challenges! Bring it on Autumn! x S.K.K x