Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Our IVF Egg Retrieval and Transfer

Our whole IVF cycle literally flew. I think at the time I was caught in the moment but looking back it felt like no time at all. Our first appointment after starting the injections was with our Doctor on the 4th of November. This was to see how I was responding to the medications and whether Our follicles were growing. The ultrasound showed that we were progressing beautifully. We had 8 solid follicles and they were measuring between 12 and 16 mm. We were aiming for 18-22mm by the time of our retrieval so these numbers were perfect. Straight away we were given a trigger date and a retrieval date. It was all happening. Remember how I said we didn't have much time to plan or worry. We literally didn't have time to think throughout the entire cycle. It was bam bam bam. 

Doctors, nurses, councillors, people who have been through it before, whoever you talked to there was always doubt. No one ever gave you 100% reassurance it would work. That's because it probably wouldn't. The success rate of a first time IVF cycle is extremely low. The nurses council you through the cycle and prepare you on some level that you may fail. It's a hard battle to fight and one that you have no control over.  You tend to take on these feelings and thoughts and this really bothered me. This wasn't who I was, actually it isn't who I am. I never let failure be an option or the answer. 

On the nights leading up to our retrieval I didn't sleep. How could I sleep knowing that in just days our baby will be created. This also allowed me to battle with my positive side and giving in to the 'what ifs'. Finally a few days before my retrieval, late one night, I posted this picture on Instagram and wrote the following...

"I have found it difficult to find a healthy balance between being positive and being realistic through this IVF journey. I've never once said to myself 'yes it's going to work' because you know what...there is a strong possibility that it won't. This isn't who I am and I pride myself on my strength and positivity and here I am in the biggest fight of my life and I'm scared to believe and I'm scared to have faith. The time has come to take a breath and jump. I know the risks, I know the statistics and I know it may not work but from this point on there will be no more 'preparing for the worst' I'm strong and I can handle the worst so it's time to lift my head, open my heart and give myself completely to this adventure. In a few days our baby will be created and I will do everything in my power to fight for my family. I've got this! Lets make a baby!"

There was no turning back. This was our reality and I couldn't change it. I could not allow room for the 'what ifs' and the 'it may not work' I completely and 100% believe in power of your mind and the power of your thoughts. So from that night on there were no more negative thoughts allowed. Our IVF was going to work and we were going to get pregnant and that was the end of it. 

On the 10th of November at 6.30pm I did my final injection. That was it. 10 days and I was done. My body responded. We were ready to make a baby.

Friday morning on the 8th of November 2013 we left at sunrise to go in for my surgery. I don't want to go into detail of the surgery because it was honestly the most horrific experience of my life. All I had to remember was I just had to get through the surgery and when I woke up that beautiful magic number would be written on my hand. If you're an IVF girl you will know what that beautiful number is. For those who are just following our journey the nurses who look after you during your surgery will write the number of eggs they retrieved on your hand. That way when you wake up from your anaesthetic you can look straight at your hand and know. That's the whole point of the surgery. To retrieve the eggs. I had a hard time dealing with this number. From all the numbers I had seen written on my fellow IVF friends hands their numbers were high. 12, 15, even 25. We only started with 10 follicles and that was down to 8 by the time our retrieval came around so we had a chance of getting 8 at the max. 8! I could not believe it. Each day between retrieval and transfer your number dropped. Not all eggs would fertilise and not all eggs would mature. With a starting number that low I was freaked. All my support system told me "all you need is 1" and they were right. I just had to believe it would all be ok. 

There was our magic number.
I had grown 6 beautiful eggs. It was no 12, 15 or 25 but it was our 6.
Our perfect 6!

I was very lucky that my retrieval was on a Friday which allowed me to recover and rest over the weekend before starting back at work on Monday. We were doing a 5 day transfer which meant that 5 days exactly from my retrieval we would transfer an embryo back into my uterus. The doctors had my 6 eggs and they had Robs sperm. We now had to leave it up to nature, with a little bit of help from science, and hope that our eggs and sperm would do the baby dance in the dish and create some embryos. 

They did and they nailed it. 5 out of our 6 eggs were fertilised and made beautiful embryos. 

And over the next 4 days they survived. Of all the journeys I've followed everyone lost a few embryos each day. Not us. Our baby's are strong. All 5 lasted the 5 days! I literally screamed every morning when the nurse rang me to tell me they had survived the night! I was so dam proud of our embabies. 

By the time I transfer day came we still had 5 embabies surviving. It was time for the embryologist to choose the perfect blast to transfer into my uterus. This would be our baby. 

On the 13.11.13 our beautiful embryo was transferred to me. 

I always always always want our beautiful angel to know that above all he/she was created by love. Even though we needed a little scientific help it hurts my heart to know it wasn't by mummy and daddy making love. This is hard to come to terms with but I hope our darling will always know that we fought to the death for them and even though we had some help our baby was created by nothing else but love, dedication and passion.

Our transfer was a success!
All we had to do now was hope and pray that our beautiful baby stuck to me, implanted and formed a beautiful pregnancy. 

Peace, Love and Hope
x S.K.K x

1 comment:

Bron Maxabella said...

Hoping extra-specially hard for you both! And you bet your bubba was formed from you making love!!!! x