Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Loosing a Pet

We had to deal with death today at work. The death of a pet. To be precise the death of a Siamese fighting fish named 'Cheeky'. At age 8, 6 and 3 they hadn't dealt with death. They knew 'Poppy' had passed away and was in heaven but no one close to them has passed so the topic has never been explained! How do you explain it? How do you put a dark cloud over the top of a child's bright and sunny outlook on life. I have had the 'usual' questions in the past. children always amaze me with their inquisitive questions. Some of them blow my mind and I often use the answer 'What do you think?" because I honestly have NO IDEA what I am going to say! Like when Mr 6 asked me where the bodies go when they are burried in the ground. I couldnt possibly tell him that they disintegrated into almost nothing so I answered with "what do you think?" Their answers always amaze me! 'Well when their bodies are put in the ground God comes down and opens a special door and they walk together to heaven!" I can deal with that answer! They aren't religious but this answer was truly beautiful and it really beat my disintegration answer. I always want the children to believe! If they don't listen to anything I say the one thing I want them to learn from me is to believe! I want them to believe in themselves, believe in each other, believe in love, believe in magic, believe in truth and believe that we live in a special and beautiful world! Children these days grow up way to fast and unfortunately society plays a big role in this! Even though death and the 'after life' is very religious based I am so happy that they can believe that there is a special place for them after they are gone! We can't see it. We don't have photos. We just have our belief.  It doesn't have to be religious but it does create a space for them to feel safe and loved no matter what happens!

2 months ago the children got their very first pet! A Siamese fighting fish each. We had 'Cheeky' "Rufus' and 'Mo Mo' even though they were only $6 fish the children fell in love and they finally got something to look after and call their own! These types of fish don't last very long, especially in the cold weather so a few days ago when 'cheeky' looked a bit under the weather we knew that we were about to face a challenge! Unfortunately 'Cheeky' gave up his battle today and closed his eyes and went to sleep. Fish are a hard case to deal with. Normally you would do a swift flush down the toilet, easy, done. We knew however that this wouldn't be the best scenario for Miss 8. She would need to see him, say goodbye and have closure. Yes you're all probably thinking I'm crazy and it is just a fish. But some children need this. They need to see it, think about it, process it all before they move on. Others can just say boo hoo and move on! Each child is different but I knew I had to handle this situation carefully and to eliminate as much hurt and sadness from the situation as possible. We wrapped him up and tied him with a bow and burried him in the back yard and put a flower on top!

 Over dramatising...yes...creating a bigger situation than it should of been...possibly...but I know that Miss 8 will always have nice, beautiful and happy memories of loosing her first pet and she will always believe that 'Cheeky' is now in a better place.

x S.K.K x

1 comment:

Hayley said...

aww poor least they have someone special like you to teach them such a hard lesson xx