Sunday, September 4, 2011

Changing my mind

I had a dream...

A plan, an exciting journey. Something I had never dreamed of, but the minute I thought of it, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I was unhappy and sailing through each day and complaining every night. Simply falling into a ball of negativity. This plan was a shinning light in my grey clouds and boy was I excited! The minute I planned it, nothing in my life was right until it happened. I planned for weeks and weeks and I bought and transformed and decorated and advertised and booked and created and dreamed. It was all going to be perfect. Everything in my life was crap...but this would make it perfect.

Then a week ago...

I packed it all away. I un-decorated. I un-advertised. I wrote sorry letters and un-booked. I folded away and neatly packed each and every creation, thought and dream into a cupboard in our house for a more appropriate time.

you betcha baby

time waster 

money waster
yes yes yes

But that's just how I roll! and I'm sorry but it's who I am and...actually I am not sorry. I won't do something unless I am 100% 200% 300% committed and ready and I am pretty sure I was only 99% ready and that didn't cut it! It wasn't the right time. We had other things we want to do. We weren't in the right place. But you know what, I needed it! I thought I was unhappy where I was but the minute I planned to change and leave, it was suddenly awesome and the thought of leaving make me physically sick to my stomach. I didn't want to. I was going to...for my new adventure. But I didn't want to, and you know what, I always follow my gut. My gut and my mind always fight. They rarely agree but this time I had my guts back. I was all up in its business and my mind had no chance.

Its funny how life works. I thought I was unhappy and needed a change but then as soon as I was about to change I realised that I was actually quite happy where I was. I now look at each day with a positive new outlook and enjoy the time I have. The adventures I have and the opportunities I have. I shouldnt take them for granted!

My beautiful little dream is packed away nicely in my cupboard. I always open the doors and smile knowing that I made the right decision. I always know it is there waiting for me, patiently, if I ever get to that 100% and need it. It will happen. Soon. Just not now.

And with that decision made, more dreams can become a reality. This world better watch out because Sarah and Rob are dreaming and planning and taking action and I am so excited for the adventures that lay ahead!

I changed my mind - and that's ok!

x S.K.K x

1 comment:

Hayley said...

I have wondered how things were going. I don't blame you it would of been so hard to leave and sometimes the grass really isn't greener on the other side ;) At least you realized this before it was too late. xx