Tuesday, November 26, 2013

My IVF Injections

On the 24th of October 2013 we had our first meeting with our IVF nurse. We didn't know what to expect. I'm not a researcher. I don't Google. So I was kind of in the dark about IVF. I kind of knew that they had to take my eggs and Robs sperm and put them together to make a baby and I knew I had to take injections. That was it really. The meeting was long and we had to learn and take in a lot of information. We signed all the papers and handed over our entire savings. We had nothing left. No control, no money and no chance of conceiving naturally. The fate of our baby was now completely in the hands of the amazing team at MIVF.

Our original plan was to start in January 2014. We were going to finish out 2013 with a bang, borrow the money and begin our IVF journey in the new year. Somehow I had managed to save the cash and my period was starting in 3 days so there was literally nothing stopping us. We had no time to think about it. No time to worry or stress or back down. We made the quick decision and we were starting IVF in 3 days!

Three days! That is all we had to get our heads in the game.


My period, for the first time in months, was a day late so our IVF cycle actually started on the 28th. I had my bloods taken and my Doctor did a routine internal ultrasound. I started with 10 follicles. 5 on my right ovary and 5 on my left ovary. My lining was 3mm. He was happy and we were ready to start. I picked up all of my medications and it was go time.


On the 30th of November 2013 I did my first injection. There is NOTHING that can prepare you for the injections...except for me telling you that YOU WILL GET THROUGH! I had the biggest tantrum and meltdown of my life. Literally. Took me 20 minutes to do my first injection. It was purely mental but I could not do it. This was the exact moment I was dreading. The moment I had played over and over in my head! How does one take a needle and inject themselves. I never had a fear of needles until I was told I had to do IVF. My mind was fixated on this one hurdle and I could not move past it. I cried, I yelled, I swore at myself, I pep talked to myself but nothing could make my hand push that needle into my body. I knew the minute I injected there was no turning back. That was it. It was hard for me to let go of the person I worked hard to be. I had worked my ass of to make my mind and body strong for this very moment and the second that needle went inside me I knew that it would all be tested and I had to fight the biggest fight of my life.








It was the HARDEST and EASIEST thing I have ever done in my life. It was a massive mind battle but once I got over the fight it was simple. It took me 3 days to emotionally deal with the injections. Each time I did it I cried. I would wake up at 5.30am every morning, take the needle, then go back to bed and silently cry myself back to sleep. It wasn't fair that I had to do this. It stung most days. Not the needles but the medication inside my body. Not bad but just enough to make me be uncomfortable and be a massive rub of salt in the wound. I was a good person. I did everything right. I lived peacefully, ate healthily and kept my body fit and strong and here I was having to do this. It was hard to come to terms with emotionally but I got there.

In the end I knew that...



Peace, Love and Hope

x S.K.K x

12 comments:

createbakemake.com said...

I hope all went well with your first cycle! It is such a strange feeling injecting yourself. We've gone through seven full stim IVF cycles, and I've lost count of the number of times I have injected myself. I can remember being in tears during our second cycle when I messed up one of the injections - and not just FSH, but the $120 a day luveris. I rang my husband in tears, and he came home from work to mix another solution up for me. Wishing you all of the best with your journey xx

Me said...

Thinking of you and Rob and wishing you well on your IVF journey. I hope that one is all you need. You are very brave giving yourself injections - I'm not sure I could do that !!!
Sending heaps of love, hugs and positive energy !
Me

Talia said...

I hope you don't have to do too many injections, and that you get a successful round ASAP! Thinking of you. xo

hopefulraeofsunshine said...

sending you positive thoughts, well wishes, prayers, wishes, hopes and chocolate to help with the ouchness of the needles. xxx

Emma Fahy Davis said...

I can't even imagine what a challenge it must be to inject yourself, especially when you're on such an emotional rollercoaster. Best of luck with this cycle, hoping this is the only time you'll have to go thru the needles.

Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me said...

Oh I can't imagine having to inject myself but I bet it will get easier in time? Until then have a pity party, it can't hurt - all the best for the first round, xx

Shelley Marsh said...

Sending you all our best wishes for your journey. Be strong!

Lucy Mathieson said...

I have my fingers crossed for you guys! What a journey! xxxx Lucy from Bake Play Smile

Kathy - yinyangmother said...

All the best - hope the cycle has progressed well and ends with the right result. In our IVF cycles my husband used to do the injections for me - it was easier for me and we felt it brought us closer through it, but I think being able to inject yourself is a show of strength and determination.

EssentiallyJess said...

Just caught up with this Sarah. Good on you for fighting that fear. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you to do that.
Praying it all goes well from here.

Anonymous said...

aw Sarah I didn't know you had done a blog post on this, glad I came to check. Your a tough cookie xx Sam

Rachel T said...

Hi, Sarah! I found you through Bindy's blog & I've read a few of your posts. I wish you the best of luck with your journey to have a baby!! Your blog has so much heart behind it, I can tell. :)

♥Rachel