Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Simple Message

Last night I was ready to loose it!
Rob and I were in bed by 9.30pm! Awesome! Early night! I was confident I would fall straight asleep, as I felt the last month of insomnia was falling very heavily on my shoulders! My eyes were closed but my mind was ready to party! The minutes ticked by! Nothing in particular was really on my mind! I wasn't worried or nervous about anything! I just could not fall asleep! 9.30 turned into 10.30 and 10.30 turned into 11.30! I was seriously not letting this happen...again...for another night...another week, of no sleep! I stayed in bed! Determined to not give in and get up and do something! But eventually after 2 hours of laying in bed and not falling asleep, the ever so familiar frustration in my body started to show! I immediately got up, had a stretch and wrote a blog that was a week over due! I thought if I uncleared my mind and my 'to do list' my sub conscious would be free and I would fall into a blissful sleep! NEGATIVE! I was back in bed by 12.30 but by 2.30am I made a desperate call for help!

My 'Special Moments' blog page is full of people who genuinely care about me! My Facebook friends who have taken the time to 'like' my page and keep up to date with my blog! They are my supporters and my friends! I've been very open with them over the past month about everything that is going on. The good and the bad, I take them all on my journey! So last night, well actually this morning, I sent out a cry for help! I knew I needed to get back to the gym! The gym is the only thing that helps me sleep! Don't know why, don't know how. All I know is that earlier this year I started at the gym and slept for the first time in 5 years! 5 weeks ago I stopped going to the gym and 5 weeks ago I stopped sleeping!

Getting back into a routine is hard! When I don't sleep at night it is SO hard to wake up in the morning and do exercise! And that's where the vicious cycle starts! I can't go to the gym because I'm so tired yet I can't sleep because I'm not at the gym! Something needed to crack and last night it was me! I called for help and this morning at 8.00am my call was answered! A beautiful friend messaged me!

She was making me accountable for my actions and making me answer my own cry! The minute I got the MSG, eyes the size of golf balls, I smiled! There is someone, out there, willing to get behind me and push me when I was too weak and scared to push myself. All I needed was that little sign to show me that someone cared enough to take 2 minutes out of their day to message and say 'go for it girl' It wasn't just me fighting my battle anymore, I had support behind me.

So I got up...packed my bag...and went to the gym!

As I sweat it out in that class this morning and as every muscle in my body burned, all of the memories came back! Every reason why I started the gym in the first place came rushing through my head and I pushed! I pushed harder than I ever had and didn't give up once! When I finished another message was waiting for me! Another sign to show me I was not alone!

Life will get hard over the next few years and there will be times that I will want to give up, but I will have no choice but to keep going! The gym is not only training my body but my mind! Showing and proving to myself that I CAN keep going and giving up is not an option! With this body and mind training, and my beautiful friends to support me, I know that I will be able to take on anything that life has in store!

A simple message can make a world of difference!
Thank You Sara and Bindy!
I am so lucky to have you both

x S.K.K x


Kylez...aka...MrsP said...

That's awesome that you're friends messaged you. It's good when you have people supporting you. There is nothing worse than insomnia, I go through stages where it's really bad and other times when I seem to have conquered it, but then it all goes backwards. Has been like that sicne i was about 15, not fun! At least it has kinda prepared me for having a baby in the house, I'm so used to being in a constant state of tiredness that it didn't make much difference once bubs was here!

Kelly HTandT said...

What lovely, thoughtful friends you have! We lead such busy lives these days that it's hard to remember to take 5 and not only reach out to your friends, but appreciate those who reach out to you. Having said that, if my friends were sending me wake up texts I'd be telling them where to go hehehe.

Cynthia Wilson said...

This is an awesome message. Friends are definitely the influences that get you through life. I have not been to the gym or did a video in months. I miss having a friend to hold me accountable when my body and mind has failed to do that for me. Thank you so much sharing this. You have force me to do something to today in the form of exercise. Have a great Thursday!


Kate said...

LOVE that you had people helping you get back on track. And I so hope you get some sleep tonight, I know insomnia far too well and it is not fun!!

tahlia @ the parenting files said...

it is the worst feeling not being able to get to sleep. Hopefully tonight and last night were better nights where your mind relaxed a little :)