Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Years of Planning

Dear Baby K,

I have been dreaming of you my whole life. When your daddy and I decided to start trying for you my whole world changed and the excitement was so overwhelming. I began dreaming, envisioning and planning your world. I would dream about what it would be like to have you start growing inside my belly. I would envision standing in the sunset, just you and I, getting our photo taken so we can look back at this special time together. I would dream about rocking in my rocking chair feeding you to sleep. I would think about books that I would read to you each night before bed. I would dream about what I would eat, how I would move my body and what I would put on my skin to ensure you were always safe and healthy and me, your mumma, would be safe and healthy. Would we have a girl first or would we have a boy first. Would I be a mumma to a surfer, skater or bush boy? Would I be a Mumma to a ballet dancing, sport playing or surfer girl?

We started planning what colours we would have in your nursery. We researched what cot you would sleep in at night and what colour your little suit would be when we brought you home from hospital. I worried night after night about how to introduce you to all our feathered and furry babies and whether they would love you just as much as your daddy and I do. I got excited about being pregnant and dressing my body as I prepare to be a Mumma. I searched and searched all over the internet for a gorgeous baby bag that I would carry all of your things when we visit family and go out for the day. I started buying books to go in my bookcase so the day I found out you were joining our family I could start reading and learning and preparing for this life changing journey.

As your mummy I would dream every night of holding you in my arms and kissing your little face. I would dream of making your lunches and dropping you off at school. I would dream of holidays on the beach and camping in the bush. Your daddy and I talked about what you would look like. Whether you would have our blue eyes and blonde hair? We ALWAYS talked about names. Your first name and your middle names and we have a list of our favourites. We can't wait until you are here so we can so your eyes and your nose and your smile and choose the perfect name for you our gorgeous angel.

2 years have come and gone since we decided to bring you into our family. One of the perks of trying for a baby for 2 years is the chance to plan. The chance to dream, the chance to wish, the chance for your mumma and daddy to be the best we can be for when you come to us. All of the above is our favourites. Our favourite themes, my favourite bags, our favourite clothes, our favourite colours and best of all our favourite names. Through our entire journey we've kept our eye on our dream and we have never ever, not for one single moment, given up on you. We plan every day and we dream every day just in case a miracle happens and we fall pregnant with you. We will continue to plan, research, and learn until the day you are born and for an entire lifetime after that. You bring so much excitement to your mumma and daddies lives and you are not even here yet. Every plan, love and 'favourite' will probably be thrown out the window when we see those special double lines but until then we will keep the fun, happiness and excitement in 'trying for a baby'. 

You are the sparkle in your daddies eyes and the wish in your mummas heart.
 We pray for you every day.

 Love Always,
Your Mumma x


Anonymous said...

This is such a beautiful post, I loved it and was so touched. I know you will get the joy you so long for xxx

Kathy - yinyangmother said...

I wish you all the best in realising your dream. I wish you the strength I gained through our infertility journey. X

Belinda said...

You write so well, I pray every night for you guys. This will happen, there will be a happy ending!
You are going to be the best Mother!
Love you.

Ps; we like 1 boys name the same ;)

Belinda said...

You write so well, I pray every night for you guys. This will happen, there will be a happy ending!
You are going to be the best Mother!
Love you.

Ps; we like 1 boys name the same ;)

Anonymous said...

Sarah, my parents tried for 10 years for me and were even told to give up and adopt. Now they have 4 adults and look back wondering where each of our childhood's went. infertility is not forever - ask my mum! X skye

Veronica Lee Burns said...

awww this is so precious and special! Excited for you!

Deidre said...

Beautiful post! it sounds like you are so well prepared for baby land :)

Caitlin said...

I have been there. In the five years before I had my five children, I ached and yearned for them to be in my arm. Oh, the prayers I prayed! And there was no sweeter moment when I held each precious child for the first time. Good on you for looking at the positive. I think those five years of infertility certainly prepared me and made me a better mother. Some of my friends who struggled with infertility shut themselves up tight and stopped socialising with their friends who were now mothers. I found that listening to all my Mummy friends stories gave me such a head start when it was my turn. Stay strong. xxx

KElizabeth said...

Aw, this was so beautiful!
New follower :-D
Stopping by from the Wildcard Wednesday!
Kallie @ But First, Coffee

Erin said...

What a beautiful soul you have, you will be wonderful parents. Praying for your dreams to come true soon, such a tough road now I realise{{}}

Amanda said...

Hi, am visiting from Maxabella's... your post is beautiful, touching and one I can relate to personally. We too struggled falling pregnant. The long time trying felt like forever when we had been dreaming of having a baby for so long. Eventually we went through IVF and now have two precious little daughters. Wishing you strength on this part of your journey to becoming a Mum xx

EssentiallyJess said...

Beautiful post Sarah. Hope you're not waiting too much longer xxx

Shelley @ Money Mummy said...

It took us three years to get our daughter. Sending you all our best wishes that all your dreams and more will be fulfilled.