OUR Tree

So last night as I was writing my post about our Christmas Tree a terrible knot formed in my stomach! Somethig wasn't right. The tree is gorgeous! Perfect in so many ways! Its everything I ever dreamed of and more! But that's just it. It's MY dream tree! It has everything I love on it and the design and creation is perfect! I know these things don't mean a lot to Rob and he is happy with whatever I am happy with but you know what? I want this to be OUR tree! The ornaments reflect us both and our lives but the 'design' of the tree is all me! I swore that I would NEVER and I mean NEVER put tinsel on my tree! Yes my house is covered in tinsel but never on the tree. I remember Rob mentioning once that he loved tinsel on trees! He also loves fresh candy canes hanging from the branches! So today I went and bought some tinsel and candy canes and covered OUR tree in everything that Rob loves!

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It allows 2 souls to still be complete individuals, and a beautiful team all at the same time! Our tree is our symbol of our individual souls coming together to create something beautiful. Tonight I feel happy! Its a shock each time I see the tree but then I smile knowing that its OUR tree and I LOVE it! Shinning and delicate ornaments, cheerful tinsel and sweet candy canes. The perfect combination of Sarah and Rob.

x S.K.K x

O Christmas Tree

O Christmas Tree O Christmas Tree how lovely are your branches!

Yes Yes I know it isn't the 1st of December but about 2 weeks ago I was sitting in our lounge room and had a thought. They say it is bad luck to put the Christmas Tree up before December 1st. What is bad luck? Have you ever had bad luck because of it? I do believe in Karma but because of putting a Christmas tree up early? Really?  I don't think so! I respect if it is 'traditional' for you but I wont fall into the 'bad luck' wagon. I love Christmas! It's so magical! Yes MAGICAL! That is the one word I would use to describe this holiday. I love christmas lights, I love tinsel, I love special nativity scenes, I love candy canes, I love Santa, I love being surrounded by family, I love Christmas smiles, I love Santa letters, I love angels, I love baked ham, I love bon bons, I love prawns and I love Christmas Trees! Everything about Christmas is magical! Why wait until December to start experiencing, celebrating and enjoying this special time! So I decorated our house! 2 weeks ago at the start of November I decorated our house! Why only limit Christmas to a couple of weeks. I wanted to have the spirit of Christmas fill our house and make me smile for as long as possible!

This Christmas is our 5th Christmas together and our trees 5th 'Christmas' anniversary! This is my first home! My first home away from my parents home. The minute I moved in with Rob I couldn't wait to share our first Christmas together! All I wanted for Christmas was a tree! Not any tree but the most beautiful lush tree I could find! Mum gave me this wish and took Rob and I shopping at Myer to buy our first tree. What a special moment for me! A moment I will remember forever. Buying our first Christmas tree in our first home! It has never changed over the years. Still exactly the same. Just filled with special ornaments that reflect Rob and I as individuals and a couple. I have angels and ballet dancers and rubber thongs and trains. I have decorations with our names from our best friends wedding. I have decorations that we have made as kids. I have a tiny little angel that was given to me by my teacher when I was in grade 1. 20 years old and she still holds a special spot on our tree! Each year we add a few more as our lives change. My dad makes me a Christmas decoration every year and puts the year on it! The first ornament has a tag on it saying "my first tree 2007" I will treasure these forever! 

Here she is...photos do not do it justice! 

I know its plain and simple but it is us and to me its simply perfect! 

It will grow as we grow! 

x S.K.K x

Being Thankful

Well tomorrow is Thanksgiving in America! I love reading tweets and blogs about this special holiday! It makes me envious that we don't have it over here in Australia. Just one more thing to add to my to-do list. Spend thanksgiving over in America! Actually my dream holiday would be to spend Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas in America. 3 whole months of pure bliss! How truly amazing would that be! But for now I have to look at the gorgeous pumpkin and crimson coloured photos from all my American friends and loose myself in words like turkey and pie and simply dream. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE Australia and I love our laid back love of life but once, just once, I would love to experience these cozy and special American holidays.

I guess the reason why I am so intrigued by this holiday is because I love the meaning behind it. To give thanks. People take so much for granted and I think it is really important to take the time to give thanks for all that you have. So I am not in America, my house isn't filled with acorns and dried maple leaves, my oven doesn't smell of warm pumpkin pie but I can sit and be thankful.

I am thankful for...

Our home ~ It's 27 years old and its all ours! Its not renovated, it has yellow walls and lots of stuff. Its always messy and we can't walk into our spare rooms. But it's us. Its filled with possessions and memories that have created who we are today! I will sort it out and clean it soon but right now I'm not ready to throw it all away!

Rob falling asleep on the couch every night ~ because it gives me comfort and sense of pride that he has worked extremely hard all day and has been giving his all. He's at home...with me and that it special.

My Mum ~ through EVERYTHING she is my rock. I take everything out on her and yet she still is always there. She supports me, comforts me, pushes me, pulls me back to reality, trusts me, inspires me and loves me.

Sunsets ~ They make me happy. They are always so breathtaking and they ALWAYS make me smile. What a beautiful way to end the day...smiling.

My Sister ~ She doesn't know it yet but we are goign to be best friends one day. For now I'll sit back and support her through this journey she is going through. Even though I completely annoy her and she cant stand to be around me, I know she knows I love her and I am always here...just waiting...in the background...ready for whenever she needs me. She is a star. She will do big things in her life.

Stinky animal kisses ~ who else will love you unconditionally even after you yell at them for doing something wrong. They look at you with those big eyes and cheeky grins and scream kiss me hug me love me!!! 

My eyes ~ I am so thankful to be able to see all the beauty in this world! A lot of people don't get to witness this spectacular gift.

My friendships ~ I am so lucky for old friends and new friends. They are all a special part of my life and I am very lucky to have unique and wonderful people to share my life with.

My optimism ~ This is my special gift that I will truly treasure forever and I hope will never change. 

Skittles ~ They are so bright and colourful and make me smile and they give me that sugar hit when I need them!

Instragram ~ What a perfect way to capture my journey.

Marriage ~ I am so thankful I have found an amazing man who will always keep me on my toes and ensure our life is fun for the rest of our lives. He still gives me butterflies and makes me laugh. What a special gift. 

YOU ~ I am so thankful to you, my readers, for coming along on my journey. Supporting me and caring about me with your precious words. Your "online" friendship means so much to me! Thank You!

What are you Thankful for???

Instragram

 Completely and utterly obsessed! 

7 weeks, 16 followers and 216 photos later...

 

i heart instagram

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x S.K.K x

Answers

 I finally got my results back from my tests that I had a few weeks ago and I was shocked at the outcome! I went in to the appointment confident that nothing was wrong yet totally prepared for him to say the words "you have bowel cancer" I don't know why but this was my mental state! 2 extremes. Absolutely nothing wrong or the worst possible outcome. But he just said 2 little words. 2 words that are not bad at all. 2 words that are very common these days. 2 words that I had heard before but did not completely understand. 2 words that absolutly bowled me over and put a knot in my stomach. 

Coeliac Disease

 The minute he said it, I lost everything. My eyes filled with tears and I was fighting back the urge to sob and run out the door. He was explaining it all to me and I was trying so hard to put the tears and shock aside and listen to what he had to tell me. I smiled and agreed with him when he said that this was a positive outcome but inside I was falling apart. Coeliac - how on earth could I be coeliac. a friend from uni was coeliac and every time she had gluten she would throw up. I don't do that. I guess it affects people in different ways. This isn't a bad thing. But its not a good thing. Its not cancer and I should be eternally grateful but right now I'm just angry. I should be happy that I finally have answers. Now I know the answer, all of my symptoms make sense and yes I know how fantastic I am goign to feel when it is all out of my system and my body can start healing itself but right now I'm angry. Ive been putting off writing this post as I'm not used to feeling like this. As you all know Im a very positive person and I can promise you all that I have tried and will continue to be positive about this but sometimes I can't. I know it will get easier but right now I'm angry. Why me? I love my food so so so so much! Yes there are so many alternatives out there and I am very lucky to know now then 10 years ago but alternatives aren't the real thing. gluten free pasta is NOT pasta. gluten free bread is NOT bread. I love these foods and right now I am missing it.

I really really really do not want to sound selfish and ungrateful as I know there are so many people out there completely worse off then me but right now, here on my own blog, I need to write and I need you to read and understand. My tears are falling as I write because I know how silly I am being but I guess the shock hasn't really warn off yet. I'm still getting my head around it all...what I can and cant eat. Most of the time I am positive about it. But in these early stages food is boring! Im sorting and sifting through labels and ingredients trying to find what I can and cant eat. Ive never read a food labels in my life. I was never a dieter, I was never a calorie counter. I ate whatever I wanted and was happy. This is a huge change and I know its going to be amazing! I cant wait to see how I feel once I start to heal. But gosh I could eat a quarter pounder right now!

To throw a spanner into it all I am also completely lactose intolerant. Our tolerance levels should be between 40 and 120 with the average being 60...mines 1...ONE....seriously why me??? No more cheese, no more chocolate, no more milk, no more smoothies, no more ice-cream. Yes yes yes I know there are 'lactose free' items but they are NOT the same!

So right now its been 2 weeks and its been going ok...the food isn't bad but I just miss a lot of foods right now and the thought that I will never be able to eat them again upsets me. But this is it now. This is the answer that I wanted and now Ive got it. Its going to be a big journey and I know it will be for the best but I'll leave being positive about it until tomorrow. Just this little minute I want to cry and get upset and be angry. I think that's ok. I hope that's ok. I just need to deal with all the different ups and downs. 'You cant enjoy the highs if you don't experience the lows" It might seem a petty little thing to everyone else but in my world, it's HUGE!

x S.K.K x

Positive Intent - 11.11.11

Today is a very special day! The date 11.11.11 is one of the most powerful shifts in human awareness that we will ever get to experience in our lifetime. It is a unique opportunity for all of us to release our karmic scripting. It is the day to forget the past and re-write our future. We can choose. We can decide. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. 

Although every day I try to live my life with happiness and positive thinking I think it is always good to sit down and reassess your inner self. I'm in the process of creating a vision board however most of these things are materialistic. I think we need to look inside ourselves and look deep into our hearts and our souls and really connect with who we are. Today I ask all of you to take a minute at 11:11am and search your soul. Who are you? What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Are you being the real you or the you who you 'think' you should be? There should be no more pretending. 

Make a wish inside your heart and hold on to it forever. Today is the start. This is my positive intention...

"I will share with my family, my friends and my world, the love, passion and magic that is inside my heart. I will be silly, I will be positive, I will be fun, I will happy, I will shine! I WILL BE ME"

x S.K.K x

We Remember

 

 

They will always shine for us ~ here on earth and those we have lost ~ Thank You for your sacrifice

We will never forget

x S.K.K x