Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A Numbers Game

Numbers numbers numbers are all going through my head and I am not sure whether I should care or not. The fact of the matter is that I don't, but I feel I should. Why bust my ass at the gym 4 times a week if I don't care about the numbers that come with it. In life generally I'm a numbers girl. I like special dates and times and get disturbingly excited when my kilometer reading on my car makes a cool number pattern. But when it comes to my weight I have never cared. I think this has come from my mum. She has always made me believe that I am beautiful and perfect the way I am and I guess I was lucky growing up without any weight issues. I never remember seeing a set of scales in my childhood home and to this day I have never owned a set. Now that I'm at the gym and I'm surrounded by people on challenges and loosing wight and running distances, I kind of get caught up in the 'game' and start looking at my goals and my 'numbers' .

Here are my numbers from my first week at the gym.

Weight - 66 kilograms 
Body Fat - 33.7%
Fluid - 47%
Stomach - 88 cm
Metabolic Age - 36

I was happy with these. Not too high that I needed to be worried but it showed I had room to grow...well shrink...and to work on. I wrote down these numbers in my diary and didn't think of them again until today. As I said I'm not a numbers girl! Today I had my follow up to see how I was going. Here are my numbers today

Weight - 61 kilograms
Body Fat - 32.4%
Fluid - 47%
Stomach - 86 cm
Hips - 6 cm lost!
Metabolic Age - 34

Today I cared. I cared about the numbers. On the way home I held in the tears. Tears that the numbers should have been smaller and I should have seen more of a drastic drop. Tears that I cared. Tears for all the people out there that are on a fitness journey, as at that moment, I felt the hurt and disappointment in myself that most of these people would experience. People who care about the numbers, people who are driven by the numbers, how do they keep going when there is no change. Then I got home and caught a glimpse in the mirror! F**K the numbers I look awesome! I look happy and healthy and I AM smaller! Numbers shmumbers. They don't define me! Not one little bit! I laugh at myself, that for 10 minutes, I let them get to me. It is what you feel on the inside and how you look to yourself in that mirror that counts. Its not about what anyone else thinks or what's written on the paper. Why should we base our confidence on numbers that are written down?

Ive been taking photos of myself every 3 weeks to see the change in my body. To show myself and remind myself of how far I have come. This is what I care about. This is what matters to me. I see change almost daily and this is what I focus on...not the numbers. I see toning and definition. I'm more comfortable in jeans and tight singlets and yes I can definitely notice the 6 cm that has been lost from my hips! 

Picture 1 was taken 4 weeks ago - Picture 2 was taken on Monday

 I am proud of these photos and although it's scary to post this, and share it all with you, I want to take you on my journey. I want to show you that it's not about the numbers, it's about how you look and feel. I'm not perfect but I'm happy!

I will continue to weigh and measure every month and write them down in my diary because change is change and I want to record every aspect but...


x S.K.K x


Lyndal said...

you should be SO proud! Look at how much you have done! the stupid thing about numbers is that the dont show the change in your body shape, or the strength in your muscles, or the energy that you now have. Good for you I say, keep going girlfriend!

Zoe said...

Good on you. I would love to know my body fat % etc.

Thanks for your lovely comment today aswell. Means alot xx

Stampinlady said...

You go girl! When we believe ... we achieve. Best wishes.

Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock said...

Yes Sarah, you are GORGEOUS! Screw those numbers....they mean nothing....coz you do look great & if you feel great...then that's all that matters! YOU GO GIRL!!!!
And as Chris always says to me; "don't always go by weight in numbers, muscle weighs more & when you start to tone up, the wobbly bits turn to muscle but sometimes that means they weigh more!" So true!
I too try to ignore the numbers....but I put on 30kg with both pregnancies and my body expects to work bloody hard to get it off afterwards. I still have about 5-8kg to loose to be at a weight I'm happy & healthy with....but I'm trying to ignore those figures & just work on how I look & feel. I want to fit my pre-pregnancy clothes but don't necessarily need to know all the numbers to do that!
You're inspirational Sarah.

Daisy, Roo and Two said...

You are doing great! Numbers are helpful as a base line but should definitely not be the only, or most important point of comparison!

Seana Smith said...

Hi there from the blog hop. I think a 5k weight loss is huge... am a firm believer in going slow, lose a bit then stay steady, lose a bit then stay steady. Don't want the body to panic.

And go you for loving how you feel, so much important than looks and numbers!!

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye said...

Looking great! Best of luck with it. Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday!

Kate said...

Well done Sarah!!

I know exactly what you mean rw the numbers... At my last measuring sess I had not changed a bit, not one centimeter, deposited slogging my guts out for the four weeks prior. It upset me a great deal.

But then there was no denying that my actual shape had been changing and I finally came to the same place you are.

I think you are doing brilliantly well!!

Andjxx said...

Those are GREAT numbers - if I were you I would be so proud. xx