I would never have thought that I would like it so much! Ive always been envious of the girls and guys running on the paths. I would drive past them chomping on my chocolate bar, quietly cursing and laughing at them with extremely green eyes! "I could never do that" were my famous words. I got puffed walking up a flight of stairs. I am not overweight, and never have been, but I am terribly terribly unfit. How on earth can you run for that long with out dying. I'm not an 'exerciser' I've tried the gym thing and it was awesome for a bit but I'm not a gym girl. I don't think 'yes I cant wait to finish work so I can go to the gym and exercise'. PUH-LEASE! I would much rather go home and eat a whole packet of m&ms while watching t.v. Why aren't I overweight?? I have no idea because I sure did eat, act and think like one. My ex boyfriend once told me that I have the mind of an obese person. Um excuse me? Are you friggen kidding me? How does someone say that to someone who they "love" O.k so now I know he was right...and worried. I was in that frame of mind. I was lazy. Why exercise when I can feed myself beautiful food. I love food. I could smash a whole packet of pods on the way home from work, every day, and not feel guilty AT ALL! It was my life, I wanted to enjoy it and that's what I enjoyed! Yes I yo-yo'd in the weight department but I never got bad enough that it would worry me. I liked food better.
Well now I'm not allowed to eat the food. I'm physically forced to not eat everything I enjoyed! Sad that it was food, but it was. I am now coeliac and completely lactose intolerant. All the foods I loved and adored and made me happy are now a distant memory. Its hard changing your diet after 25 years. You are in a habit and man that habit it hard to break! There were times in the early stages were I had to lock myself in the room because I knew there was a packet of chips in the cupboard and I didn't have the self-control to not eat them. Those who know me know I love my chips. mmm Thia sweet chilli. Actually how funny I just got a sick feeling in my stomach the minute I thought about them. Where as 6 months ago the minute I thought about them I would be straight down to the shops and would be buying a packet. Wow a breakthrough. I have a whole lot of feelings and thoughts about this whole "coeliac gig' but that's for another time. It's intense and I'm not ready. I'm not positive about it...yet. I will be...but not right now. Right now I'm positive about running. Maybe it's my outlet to forget about the diet changes. Maybe I just got bored and wanted something physical to do...for me. Maybe I've turned the corner and left the laziness behind and boarded the 'energetic' boat. What ever the reason...I'm loving it.
Ive found that the 'couch to 5K' program is really getting me going. There is no way that I would go out and run for no reason. I needed a goal. I needed a push. I couldn't afford a personal trainer so my trusty Iphone had to do! But honestly...its awesome! It trains you to run 5 kilometers using interval training. Its super easy! Even for a very unfit person like me! O.k it's not THAT easy. I do secretly swear under my breath at the man when he says "start running" but then I like him again when he says "walk".
I push myself hard and I don't cheat. I'm not going to lie, my mind does fight with itself. But I've always given up so this time I'm trying this new thing of...NOT! I surprise myself every day! I surprise myself with the excitement and dedication I have. I train the minute I get home! If I'm feeling lazy or not wanting to go, I quickly jump on twitter and I am instantly motivated by an awesome girl on there who has just hit her 5K mark! Go Jodes!!! I've found I like to do this on my own! I put my headphones on and feel the music and just go for it. No thinking. No seriousness. I just do it! Rob has come with me a few times, when I've really really not wanted to go. He pushed me and supported me and has ridden beside me! He learnt very quickly not to talk to me though haha Talking tires me out and I can not make the distance! When he first came with me he just shook his head the whole time and said "do you dance like that when I'm not with you?" Yes darling I dance and sing and have fun with it. And yes I fist pump it down my street each and every time! I've finally felt and experienced that awesome feeling after 'exercising' I love it. It's fun. I'm motivated and dedicated and that excites me. one of my 'goals' for 2012 was to run 5K. Well baby I think I actually might achieve it. I can smell it. It's close. I just have to keep pushing and having fun!
x S.K.K x