Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Epic Fail...


I knew focusing on what I ate was a silly silly idea! If I was a normal person this would be fine but I have a crazy crazy manipulative mind! This works wonders when I'm positive - the magic of my positive thinking is beyond awesome - but when I'm down gosh it hits me hard. On Monday I wrote about trying to make a healthy change and start replacing the sweet biscuits and chocolate bars and snack foods that I eat on the run during the day for more fresh fruit and yogurt and other healthier goodies. I actually found some yummy treats that were so good to eat and were quite healthy. I'm loving cut up red delicious apples with peanut butter spread on them - YUM and I love corn wraps with avocado! But I have a confession to make and I am so embarrassed for it but I have to admit it so I can see the foolishness and then move on haha

 Tonight I ate FOUR donuts!!! YUK YUK YUK

One after the other - in my car...alone - I ate four huge donuts - glazed and iced with sprinkles. I HATE DONUTS!!! They are so ridiculously unhealthy and I haven't had a donut in about 10 years. But tonight I scoffed them down like no bodies business - like it was my last meal - I then came home and ate my WHOLE dinner! I feel like I am going to be sick and I have no idea what came over me this evening on my way home from work. Like I said before my mind is so crazy - I wasn't even hungry - But because I have had NOTHING sweet over the past few days it was like my body was going into crisis mode AGAIN and just absolutely craved something huge and sweet and gross - and it was so gross - I didn't even enjoy it - but I couldn't stop - I sound like a crazy person! I was literally lining up in line at the petrol station fighting with myself - one voice was saying yes and the other was saying no - the YES won and even as I was picking up the packet I was yelling no but i just bought it and ate it. So stupid. 

BAAAAHHHHH so anyway now I'm sitting here feeling so stupid and defeated by my own self and really need to work out whats best for my body! I need to find the balance somewhere. I know they say chocolate is a 'sometimes' food. But with the hours I work and the job I do and considering I do not drink coffee, tea, coke, V, Mother or any energy/caffeine drink I think it's o.k that I have one chocolate a day! Just to give me that sugar rush and pick me up throughout the day! I still want to keep up and increase my fresh fruit, yogurt and water intake but still allow myself that little treat. Because clearly my mind thinks I'm starving myself and will turn into a crazy comfort binge eater and that DEFINITELY is not good for my body!

So once again wish me luck and lets go for round two ;)

x S.K.K x

No comments: